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I thought it would be cool and retro to have a She-Ra desktop.
I wonder if that little cartoon blond had some sort of developmental influence on my sexuality.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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I thought it would be cool and retro to have a She-Ra desktop. It kind of backfired,
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At one point, I realized that I was only using this to vent thoughts I should be sharring in conversation with friends.
So many times in high school I tried keeping a journal, would have been interesting to read back on it now.
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Thursday, March 28th, 2002
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I feel like I've been playing with a time machine. I feel like I'm doing somthing that could back fire. But, I'm just as scared of not doing it.
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Saturday, March 2nd, 2002
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It has come to my attention that most people have at least one celebirty that they talk about wanting to sleep with.
My choice is the crazy home improvement Lady from wtn, and I think she's on tv ontario as well. I don't even know what her name is or the name of her show. But she can play with my blowtorch any day!
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Wednesday, February 13th, 2002
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Dad made me a Ham sandwich for lunch today. It has a good solid inch of meat on it.
This is the way a sandwich was meant to be.
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Sunday, February 10th, 2002
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Well this weekend I tried to play the Hedon, and I think I pretty much suceeded. I was driving so once again the alcohol didn't play a role, but damn I had fun.
Several hours with the office at the airport stip on friday night. I still maintain it's not my thing, but seeing my coleuges in that social setting certainly was. A setting where you're not obliged to keep talking either, which I could totally dig. The night worked, that's all I'll worry about.
Saturday went with the guys to Toronto to celebrate Brodies birthday along with his friends there. Man it was fun. Martin looks depressed as hell but we'll talk about that later. Parked at Brodie's friend Dave's place near the famous gay corner and walked to Queen. Isn't it ironic that the gay bars are on Church St. and the straight ones on Queen? Anyways, nice bar although overpriced. But the eye candy in there was worth every cent of the eight dollar cover.
Martin passed out on the ride home and I spent the whole time talking to Brenden mostly about sex. His ideas are so much more mature than I ever would have imagined.'
So that's the end of the festivities. Next weekend I'm going to Waterloo. It's been a few weeks now. I should also go to Guelph as soon as a can. I havn't had a seriously long chat with for years.
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Tuesday, January 29th, 2002
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Well another weekend has come and gone. Back to the grindstone. We're back in the co-op situation of "nothing to do. Already today I've managed to waste an hour and a half.
So here we're updating the Journal from the offices of Pinchin Environmental. Waiting at least anther half hour before Andrew gets here and I can go to another site. God I'm tired. Did not get enough sleep last night. I mean seriously all, please debate this thesis: What's wrong with sleeping at work if you have nothing else to do? It'll only improve your preformance once they find somthing to do with you. Another cultural taboo that makes no biological sence. If only I could shut my eyes......
I think we should get a chin-up bar for the office. That would sharpen people up around here.
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Sunday, January 27th, 2002
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Went to see the spuc crowd today. Played Grand Tourismo 3 with Dale who bought a PS2 with his student lown. Went and got a chair and computer Tony had in Storage. Went out for pizze with Rich and Dave L. Chatted with Jer in his room briefly. All doing well. I was especially encouaged by Dave, the geek who went right.
I was bubbling over the entire time. Guessed I really missed those guys, it was really shabby of me not to see all the rez friends in so long. I should maintain closer contact with them in the future. I will do that.
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Tuesday, January 22nd, 2002
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Polical Correcum is alove and well, as seen in the recent NYC statue fisaco. Seriously if these people can't see somones pushing they're own politcal agenda (however noble it might be), and therefor dishonoring everyone of every race that died in those buildings.
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Saturday, January 19th, 2002
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Well I did a repeat of last week. Went out thrusday and friday night, and now I'm bored out of my skull.
It's times like this I wonder what I should be doing. I seem to have a surplus of time that I'd like to use socially, but don't know how to go about doing so. Translation: Once again I want to go out, and everybody's busy. Not just that, but I almost would feel like a jackass to bother people for the third day in a row. I guess I shouldn't bunch up all my social time on the weekend. I've got to get out more, period.
Martin and Paul never feel like this I'm sure, but I guess they've got girlfriends.
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Sunday, January 13th, 2002
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Well it's been a fairly sucessful weekend. Lots done, lots of socializing. Talked to Dave. BOT was fun again apperhently. Wish I could have been there, but am sure I made the right desision to come home. Would have started 6 pm friday, and at 4 at work I was the most tired I'd ever been. Just wouldn't have been safe.
Just watching the news and goofing around with Brodies freewieghts. I've got to join a gym again. Whoa, I just had a freaky sence of deja - vu.
That reminds me, I woke up last night, well not completely. I could open my eyes, but was still paralyzed, still sleeping. I've been able to do this before. This time I was dreaming too. It was like my Mother was standing beside me asking me questions, and I was trying to figure out where I was paralyzed, like I was in the future or something.
Better drive carefully this week.
Also, if anyone can find out if there's some sort of planetary allignment in May, I had another dream that the world would end then. Yes, soon isnt't it?
I hate sounding like a new age freak. Hemp makes good rope, not breakfast cereal, and certainly not underpants, and that's final. Seriously I'm pretty down to earth, echanicia can't make world peace. But the first week of september I had nightmares for the first time I can remember, and woke in one of these half-sleeping with my eyes open to see sillouettes of people falling out of somthing. I'm pretty sure it was a building too. I swear this happened!!
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Just left my first comment of webpage. Hope she doesn't take it the wrong way, it's just, well you all know how shamelessly cynical I can be when it comes to pop culture.
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Well it's been three days of fun for me. Starting on thursday with going over the the whistling walrus with Brodie, Paul, and Brenden. I was playing designated driver, and still havn't had so much fun at the bar in ages. Just catching up and talking about everything under the sun. One of those conversations that you only have with your very best friends.
Yesterday was a party at Lorenzo's. It was pretty fun, once again playing driver. Lorenzo's pretty cool, and not that I take anything he says seriously, but sometimes he can seriously rub me the wrong way. Gave Jen a ride home, Brodie certainly has alot of good things to say about her.
Today I walked over to the Upper James cinemas and say "The Shipping News", kind of a culture peice, kind of a love story. Not the best film ever, but very enjoyable. It tried to do alot of things, and while not doing them the best they've ever been done, it did manage to do everything without candy-coating any of it. And as downbeat as most of it was, the ending wasn't rediculous and I still left the theatre not feeling depressed. Good ending.
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Wednesday, January 9th, 2002
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<td> </td><td width="400">You have a genius intellect and an awesome sense of humor. You can sarcastically put someone in their place without batting an eye. Your only problems seem to be that you have trouble acknowledging your true feelings and you may use your humor as a defense to hide what you are really feeling. But, your godliness overpowers any insignificant flaws you may have. Even if you tend to pass gas during very inconvenient moments.
Take The "Which Kevin Smith Male Are You?" Quiz!!</td>
These surveys are getting out of hand. But I liked this one. Brodie from Mallrats is Cool, I loved the charecter, he's everything I aspire to be. (Cool, I got to use that name without refering to my brother).
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Tuesday, January 8th, 2002
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God.
Dear God.
I did it.
It was unimaginagble.
Exciting.
Differant than I had imagined.
I drove the 401 through Toronto. Alone.
Two days of driving to Toronto for work. First day was Missasauga. Second Toronto. The 401 by Brampton is surreal. Second busiest highway in North America, and that was before the Santa Monica freeway got knocked down by an earthquake. Express and collectors combined are like 9 lanes per direction. You look sideways across it, and it's like a football field. And it's all packed.
The amazing thing about driving in Toronto, is that it just keeps going. Undending Cityscape. Areawise it's about equal to NYC, and population wise it scores a fourth on the continent. Man, I tell you you really fell it when:
Asshole drivers cause three accidents and stop and go traffic taking me two can a half hours to get home. Jesus people, ever heard of signaling?
There's a lengthy post comming about the real cost. Everybody's time you waste must be in the millions of dollars.
Well I'm off. 9am start tommorow. Should be fun.
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Sunday, January 6th, 2002
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I'm going to take this opertunity to express some philosephys I've come up with lately:
Basically let's talk about religion. Despite living in a religous colledge for two years, I'm not. I whole heartedly believe in god and think that spirituality is really lost in our culture, but as far as the giving yourself over thing is concerned, I just can't buy into it, especially considering how much of my time I already spend identifying pop dogma.
Other religions are of course interesting, westerners seem pretty fascinated by buddhism, and after having studied islam for some projects I have to say it's really an idiology with some major public relations problems. There's some really good ideas in there! (Ironically espeically about egalitarianism between the sexes).
But what's good about Christianity? Well Jesus said "love your fellow man". This is somthing I've really started to respect in the past couple of years. When you stop being suspicious and/or judgemental of everyone, you suddenly find you've got alot of firends. The coolest people I know all admit they have a hard time not liking people, and I've found the the more I'm in that same mindset the happier I am.
And I mean I really don't want to be preachy or anything, but just to say that Christian values do have some real merit. Not just theoretically, but realistically, I have first hand expericance.
I think teenagerdom is somthing I'm learning to understand in retrospect. If only it had occured to me at the time that no one around me had any good reason to feel more secure than I did. I mean, I can understand depression caused by the realization of what the world is really like, particularily on an environmenal or political level (and in fact wish many more people would), but that whole social misfit thing is really an illustion brough on by yourself. People are good! Some are more selfish than others granted, (and some disgustingly ignorant) but truly evil people I'm begining to think are fewer and farther between. We're all much more alike than we care to admit.
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Friday, January 4th, 2002
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Forward:
I have to tip my hat to Mr. Partiac here. Rather than being pissed with me about the event when last we met, he was actually apologetic. Not that he should have been, but man, that guy really is a class act.
I came home last night feeling stoned, good about my friends, good about myself. And absolutly certain that I should not smoke pot again.
I've said before that our time in the flame was comming to an end, when it didn't, but not for the reasons that arise now. Then it was like I wanted to be able to say "Been there, done that, look how quickly I moved on". But the fact was it was still fun to do. So I didn't stop.
Now however, I'm sure it's not enhancing my life anymore. It's easy to get now, there's no thrill in the hunt. I'm not meeting anybody new that'll go for a smoke (which was fun at UW this summer during the play). The fact is there's really no point. I knew this yesterday, which was why I was trying to get rid of it all.
I mean, I'm not getting all prudish all of a sudden, but I'm going to take an example from Martin. The guy doesn't get all uptight about it, but it's pretty obvious that with Lindsey and all he's got new priorities. So chemical enhancement just isn't going to be somthing I do for the next little while. Considering with the new job I'm going to be living in my mothers house for the next term anyways it isn't cool to begin with, but regardless of anyone else's taboos, the underlying fact is that I want new, differant things to start happening now.
I want to have his priorities. He's in love, he's happy. I've kind of spent the term a bit lost. Partly due to changing streams I'm sure, but also a lack of direction. I guess I've let my rebelious side come out, which was good, and it's nice to know what I'm capable of, but now there are other more important things to do.
The next term will contain a new job, which means new people and new activities. I hope to fill the term with such things. I have a car and freedom. Really nothing to complain about. I want to be happier this term.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, December 31st, 2001
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It's been a while since my last post. Christmas has come and passed. I got lego and transformers. Excellent. Felt like yesteryear, I'm more than happy.
Had to agree with mom that these days the Boxing Day extended family get together is more of somthing to look forward to. I like my family. Uncle Ben has always been "that" uncle for me and Brodie. That being the really fun one. And Aryka, my god she's almost 16, and really starting to look it. There good looks in my gene pool, somewhere anyways, she's going to try modeling come this March break, I wouldn't be at all surprised if she lands a job too. Whatever happened to that two year old that liked to be tickeled? Christmas more than my birthday (despite the fact that for me they are six months apart) is a time of feeling aged I think. As my oldest friend Lex pointed out (someone I havn't seen in a couple years herself) we're going to be 22 soon. Twentysomthings; 21 is 21, but 22 is twentysomthing. So true no more milestones, rights of passage, from here on in, only age benchmarks. Technically here in Ontario 21 was nothing, and not that it didn't feel emptry, but at least it's a big one for a friends to the south. And anyone sentenced to prison other places, so it was an item.
Job interview in two days. Here's hoping. I honestly have a good feeling about it, but I know from the past that could be optimisum.
Grandad's here, and I havn't been too busy. The odd night out with some of the guys, but that's about it socially. Tomorrow is New Years day. I have preparations to make tomorrow. SD&R&R style. I've got to make a CD. Remember to bring Brodie's U2 remix cd, unless he brought it with him to Toronto (thanks for saying bye when you left brod, didn't know you were leaving for the whole time).
I've got some apologies to make tomorrow if we're at Justins. Brenden really put my nerves to rest last week with something he said. That guy really never ceases to amaze me.
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Wednesday, December 19th, 2001
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Well no notification from Canadian Bank Note company. And Proctor and Gamble finally emailed me to say that they're no longer processing my application (after all the interest they expressed). Thanks for the excitment. Unless I get some magical phonecalls, and SOON, I'm up shit creek for a job next term.
Look's like Jenhas taken an interest in my grammer. I remember when I cared about grammer, in those pre-Istudynothingbutmath days. Though the help with German grammer is appreciated. 8 months, 8 more to go before applying to Brunsweig, still sound like a foolish foreighner but getting better, Wish me luck.
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